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If yoga practice is a refuge, then why do I keep escaping instead?

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yogafire

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This is myself thinking out loud here, especially since I've been stimulated after reading other people's experiences with "slumps".

My teacher said at the end of class on Wednesday that we can treat our mats as a refuge.  I thought that was an effective way to remember what my practice represents to me. It usually cultivates a feeling of contentment from within.  So, why did I deny myself refuge for an entire month, finding solace instead by escaping via TV, sleeping in, forum browsing, and online shopping? Those were external factors that help distract, but what was I trying to avoid thinking about?

I didn't truly acknowledge this until now, after reflecting on a conversation with my sister earlier this week. I have some issues going on that I didn't want to acknowledge as big deals. I reaffirmed my decision not to visit my parents over the holidays so I won't have to explain why I don't want to see or ever talk to a certain family member again. I speculated with my husband about changing to a different job role so I don't have spurts of high stress and deadlines that require me to work on holidays and weekends.

I don't have the solutions to these issues, but now I'm ready to keep them in the back of my mind instead of escaping like before.  That's not the same as being ready to face them (hence, I'm not actively seeking advice), but, I won't run away anymore. I shared details to avoid minimizing or exaggerating. Now I can sit with the truth and breathe through it, just like how I get reminded to breathe during my twisted lunges.


robert, Lorelei, Sunnyone and 3 others like this
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I like your your advice, "Now I can sit with the truth and breathe through it". Sound advice. I understand the not talking to a certain family member again and the repercussions that that come from that. I to am going through this. It is hard but I have decided that I have allowed that person to take to much positive energy and peace from me. It was hard to come to this decision but I am finding I am able to breathe deeper and let the chaos go.  I am sending happy, loving thoughts your way. You can do this! I hope Christmas went well for you.

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Thank you both for your thoughts and positive energy! Things weren't too bad - I still had to work on a Sunday after Christmas, but it was just for one day. It was better than it was for me during Thanksgiving, but I must admit I did let myself still feel overwhelmed for a moment and forget to breathe.

Sunnyone - yes, thank you for understanding. Coming to that decision is empowering, even though it may seem extreme to others.

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I reaffirmed my decision not to visit my parents over the holidays so I won't have to explain why I don't want to see or ever talk to a certain family member again.

Just thought I'd give an update... I just found it amazing how much my patience paid off from waiting until it felt right to take action.

6 months passed, and I recognized that I was still been avoiding my parents because of this issue.  I finally had enough confidence to visit and tell them why I never wanted to see that person again.  They understand my reasons and won't force me to have a relationship.  I heard a lot of talk about setting boundaries before, but I never knew what that truly meant until now.

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