JoBo

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  1. I've had desk jobs for the past five years and I started struggling with hips too since I started yoga. What I find useful is to sit very wide legged in my chair and tuck my feet behind the wheels. Sometimes when I do the tea run, while I wait for the kettle to boil I might do some wide legged twists against the wall, and I almost always stretch when I go for a toilet break. Rag doll and the like. It's not a lot, but it helps to get me through the day and keep the muscles awake.
  2. Hmmm I suppose I haven't... It never occurred to me that this could be trauma. I always thought trauma was from something more like physical abuse or violence, but not a case of teenage bullying. I've had CBT in the past and I found it very ineffective, so I'm sceptical about reaching out again... But I'll give it more thought and consider what you and others have said. Thank you for your input and advice.
  3. Thank you for this suggestion. An interesting read and I've definitely learned something I'd like to incorporate into my everyday life, but I'm not convinced it will help me that much with my old anger
  4. Hi Larry, Thank you for your advice. I'm very open about this with my family and a friend, they know the full extent of my rage and they have a good understanding of how I feel and why. The good thing is I've never acted on this anger even is opportunities for revenge had arisen.
  5. Hi everyone! I'm hoping someone here could help me or perhaps have some insight to share. Recently I've become hyper aware of the anger I hold onto in myself. I'm talking old anger about things that happened to me that I did not deserve. The best example I have is a couple of girls I went to school with and considered my friends, who had a lot of fun at my expense, essentially publicly humiliating me just so they could have a laugh. It's an event that took place a long time ago (7-8 years) and although it has deeply and permanently affected me, I've moved on and I don't think about it anymore. I've talked about it with people I trust, expressed my feelings, had time to digest it and leave it behind me. But I still feel inexplicably angry towards those two particular girls. It's an anger that makes me want to destroy them, make them feel pain that they will never be able to recover from and I want their lives to crumble and turn to ash. This is just one example. I've had several other experiences, not as drastic, that also leave me forever angry. Despite apologies from the culprits, sometimes even lengthy discussions to resolve the issue and genuine remorse from these people, it's not enough and I feel a lack of closure with so many of these experiences and I can feel it all swirling inside me. I don't want to feel this way. Obviously I realise that these thoughts I have about wanting to destroy people are pretty evil and I don't want to become that. I just want to let it all go, forget it, leave it behind me and live my life knowing these experiences and emotions don't control who I am, and I don't know how to achieve this.
  6. Thanks to both of you for your advice. I've had a look at the "Emotional release during yoga class" topic and although there's some useful information there I can't quite relate to most of the issues it covers there. I've had emotional releases and I completely understand what people write about, but this is something completely different and I can't explain it better than my attempt above... I'll try reading up about it more and have a look at the articles shared in the discussion board. Thanks again for your help.
  7. Hi all, This is a strange phenomenon that I've noticed in my practice that has me a little distraught to be honest, so I hope somebody may have some helpful advice. I've been practising yoga by myself at home for the past couple of years, with brief breaks here and there. Candace has been my main source of knowledge in the field, so I feel confident enough in what I'm doing. Yoga has been a great aid in finding emotional balance for me as someone who's been struggling with depression for many years, however, there have been several instances when I feel so much worse mentally after a practice, that sometimes I have to stop mid pose and leave it for the day or maybe even the week. This usually happens when I'm already somewhat stressed and during a pose - any pose - I will get a sudden anxiety attack and my heart will start racing, my breathing is all over the place, and no matter how hard I try to focus on calming my breath I just can't. I get a hollow feeling in my chest and no amount of deep and slow breaths can help it. There are some poses that I've noticed to regularly have an emotionally negative effect on me, like Camel or Shoulder Stand, so I tend to avoid them if I'm already stressed. But yesterday for example I was in Warrior 2 when the anxiety came out of nowhere, which has never had this effect on me, and I just couldn't calm myself down, and nearly 24 hours later I still can't calm my breathing. Sitting in poses that have the most relaxing effect on me work, meditation doesn't work, a cup of tea or glass of wine doesn't work. Has this happened to anyone else? Do you have advice on how to overcome this problem? Am I doing something wrong? Or am I just so thoroughly stressed that there's no running from this? I'd appreciate anything you might have to say on this, as I don't know what to do anymore, and the one thing that's helping me with my mental health seems to now make it worse, so I'm kinda desperate. Thank you all for your help in advance! Jo