Lorelei

Yoga Instructor
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Everything posted by Lorelei

  1. Life these days is.......odd. I feel light and happy and sad and foundation-less and grounded. I'm doing something that goes against the grain of my Type A life. I'm rolling with it. No, really. I am. Last weekend, my family and I (including our third child, canine Riley) ran away for a few days to the Wisconsin Northwoods. We've been there before to rent summer cabins, and my family used to own a tiny cabin on a tributary of the Wisconsin River....however, I haven't been there during the winter for many years. This trip was just the thing to help the healing process. Snowy and silent and beautiful. Due to the "off season" stay, we got to treat ourselves to a house that we wouldn't rent during the summer season. There was a loft with a view of the lake for yoga practice, deer hoof prints in the snow, family time without interruption, good old "supper club" steak dinner, and time to rest. Heavenly. My yoga practice is slowly returning to me. Thank goodness for YTT. It's encouraging me to stay with it. I'm starting to find joy in returning to my mat. However, further complicating 2016, a chronic knee injury has resurfaced. No running, limping walk, feeling like and old lady, and just damn pain. Well. Today, after YTT, I was pain-free for the first time in over four weeks. Guess what? I'm canceling the ortho appointment for next week. My plan is to ice twice daily, see Emily my wonderful massage therapist, make my first ever acupuncture appointment, and use what I've learned in YTT to see if I can fix this my own self. My knee has had issues off and on for 15 years. Going back and forth to the knee doc without a permanent fix has grown old. I'm going to try to see if yoga is what I need for a fix long term. I hope so. And I've really excited about working on this. The point is that I wouldn't have had the patience to just BE with my knee and to see how it goes before. As I said, I'm rolling with it. And I'm good with that. Planning some good plans for me and for my/my family's future this spring, and I am just psyched to be doing something exciting and new and fun. My life feels new. I am so grateful that I can attend Candace's retreat in May. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to take this YTT course and to travel a new career path with all its possibilities. I have faith that I'm on the right track. And that's saying something. Life is good. from Living Your Yoga, by Judith Hanson Lasater
  2. Thanks, yogafire! Your year will come! Sending you good thoughts.
  3. I still have to pinch myself when I think about this retreat! I do believe that this opportunity happened with freaky perfect timing. I always said that when my mom finally went to her peace, I'd run away for a little while. I'm so lucky to have a husband who encouraged me to sign up. It was hard to make the jump to invest so much time away and funds for me. I am excited to meet everyone, and I'm so looking forward to meeting Candace and Lauren. To be surrounded by wonderful people in a beautif setting for a peaceful purpose. Aahhhh. ? Can't wait to find out more and to book the flight. Yayyy!!
  4. Haha. Looking forward to meeting you too! Gotta admit, I'm excited about my single room. Excited to meet people and to also have some quiet time.
  5. Oh. My. I am excited and terrified to report........I just signed up.
  6. Thank you, Candace. Very much.
  7. I've been having a hard time getting to my mat since my mom died last month. I know my practice will help me heal, yet it eludes me. I've been running and lifting and generally working out at the gym.... but yoga.....yeah. I haven't left it completely, not by a long shot. Since I'm currently in a 6-month long YTT program, I'm working on the mat, for sure. But, it's missing something. I think the missing part is my heart. I know it'll come back, and I'll keep trying. Until then, I've gotta just feel what I'm feeling and be patient. (And I'm trying to be grateful for the opportunity to work on my patience.......not my favorite thing!) (Notice that I am ON my mat.......not giving up! Good thoughts!)
  8. Thank you, brenskip55. I think you are absolutely right. I appreciate your wonderful reminder.
  9. Aargh! I just saw this. Totally off kilter state of mind here. I would totally love a mid-range retreat for a long weekend in a lovely, peace and heart healing induced setting. How does that sound? Haha! If something gets planned on a weekend that I can come, I am totally IN! I'll even help in any way needed!!
  10. Wow. How very unfortunate that you had to deal with such disruptions. If they come back, what about if you do something at the beginning of class while you go through a little centering activity or ritual. Maybe you talk about inviting peace into the space of the class and how the calm can be a part of the environment of class when everyone can listen to his or her breath and move with it. Maybe even invite your students to use the class for personal reflection and ask that respect be shown to each other, and to themselves, by allowing the class to be dedicated to a peaceful practice. I'm very interested in how this goes for you. I hope they come back with a more appropriate mindset so that they can benefit from the class. If they don't come back, I'm guessing the vibe of a yoga class wasn't what they'd been looking for, and that's ok too. Best wishes to you.
  11. Wow! Way to go!!
  12. Welcome, ErickVivas! I've found this to be a wonderful little space. Hope you do too!
  13. Lacey, I am recovering from what sounds like a similar injury. I will say that it is taking longer than I thought it would (over two months so far). After weeks of pain, I went to a doctor to rule out anything serious. Rest, ibuprofen, and heating pad are the things recommended for my particular injury. Last week, I went 7 days without pain (finally), so I did a great yoga practice. In my third or fourth chaturanga, I felt the sharp pain again along the left side of my sternum in a vertical line. It's not too bad, because I stopped, took ibuprofen, and used the heating pad. So, please take it easy. This sucker seems to take a long time to heal. Sending you healing thoughts!
  14. My mom flew away on Monday morning. I had been with her overnight and the whole day before, stepped out for 15 minutes, and she was gone. Our healing begins now. Very grateful for my practice that helped me keep it together over the long days and longer nights. Happy that I have YTT to distract me and to bring new knowledge into my life. Rest in Peace, Mom. You've more than earned it.
  15. Thinking of you.
  16. I hope that your pain stays under control. The "neck nub" button that erased pain in your shoulder is really fascinating. Isn't the human body just mind blowing?
  17. Anahata, scottcraft, yogafire, and brenskip55: Thank you for the good thoughts, prayers, and practices dedicated. You guys mean a lot to me! No change in the situation as of now.
  18. 2016 is here. With. A. Bang. I am a little bit in awe of the craziness that has descended upon my family with the arrival of the new year. So far, it's been an El Niño. (Disclaimer: All events within this blog post are absolutely real. Also, I am not looking for sympathy. Really. Just a collective "WTF?!" will suffice. Think "purging" when you read this, because that's what this blog post is doing for me.) 2015 closed with a call from my mother's memory care community. It looked as if she was ill, and that I might have to take her to urgent care in the morning. I went to bed, after letting my children welcome the new year officially for the very first time, with clothes and supplies at the ready for a long day ahead. 8:20 a.m. came on January 1st with the phone call I'd half-expected. My mom most probably had an infection and needed urgent care. Red alert for ya, urgent care is closed on holidays. So, to the ER I went, with my poor, little 68-year old, advanced dementia-afflicted mother riding shot-gun. I was blessed by the powers that be with wonderful holiday staff at the ER who got my mother out of my mini-van and into a bed. Her blood pressure was a measly 67/45. Things deteriorated further, because tests told us that she had a raging infection and was septic. Long ago, my mother had told me to never plug her in, when we'd gone over the what-ifs of life. Well, neither of us had anticipated a diagnosis of frontal temporal dementia at age 59. It was a game changer. And administering antibiotics at this late stage of that game smacked of "plugging" her in at this point. I told them NO. NO antibiotics. NO IV fluids. Just NO. Enough was enough. Painful for me to honor her wishes, but there you go. That was over 8 days ago. Her siblings and my sister came in to say good-bye. We played with the dry erase board in her room. (Staff just tolerated our slightly-hysterical humor.) They have since gone back to their lives for now. My mom's two sisters are (wonderfully) ready to come back from their homes 4 and 6 hours away whenever I call for them. Her college professor brother checks in via text. My sister cannot deal....and I can't worry about that anymore. My Delaney Jane and I moved out her bed to make room for a hospital bed at the memory care residence. She's a gamer, that girl. My mom is back at the memory care residence, with hospice. Reaching the end of her adventure on this earth could take hours or weeks. The point is that the end is near. I am relieved that her peace will be soon. However, I will miss her. However, I've been mourning her for eleven years....since the dementia butted its ugly head into our lives. This is confusing to the humanity in me that wants to mourn vs. the caregiver who is tired and rather raw/worn from emotion. She'd have wanted this over ages ago. I've been reading to her, and knitting, driving to get supplies, and indulging in my own little comfort care while preparing for YTT class. (Such a timely read for me.) But, this is a yoga blog. Let's get to the yoga. Today, January 8, was the first evening of YTT for me. I have been looking forward to it for a long time. I almost didn't go, because of so many reasons. For instance, the memory care community staff accidentally cut off and threw away mom's DNR bracelet. Guess who got to put on a new one after going over AGAIN the painful paperwork that states that no one should interfere with my mother's death process? Anyone? But somehow when the time came, I left her to go to YTT. Talk about conflicted emotions, shall we? What made me leave my mom's bedside for more than four awake hours so far this year? Here's what. My mom would have been furious, if she'd been able, had I taken myself out of an opportunity that I'd been awaiting for so long. An opportunity to make the world a slightly better place, like she did once upon a time as a social worker, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I can only hope that I will be able to fill the shoes that my mother's imminent passing will leave empty. Right now? All is quiet. No jangling of the phone bearing news. We wait. I am learning patience and also that I am not in control. I am struggling to be ok with that. The lessons of the new year will serve me well, I know. YTT was WONDERFUL. My instructor is kind and witty and strict-ish. Classmates seem interesting and devoted. The yoga studio is beautiful. I felt free and new and alive. What seemed earlier today as a tragedy of timing, now feels like a gigantic blessing and a gift. I feel optimal gratitude. Tomorrow will be a big test. I will briefly stop by to check on my mom and then head over for 9 hours of YTT. This training feels like so much more than yoga for me. Send me good thoughts, please. This community is the only place who has been told my story of 2016. I am glad you are far-flung. It makes the telling feel safe. Thank you.
  19. Thanks, scottcraft. Today, I kinda freaked out for writing such a personal blog entry. Last night, when I wrote it, I was just worn out and at the end of a long week. It is completely not like me to share so much. Grateful for this community.
  20. I am feeling for you. Rest. The practice will be there when you are healed! (I sound like a mother...but I am one, so what can I say?!) The time to rest feels like such a waste, I know. BUT! It's for the best. I'm sending you good thoughts. Get cozy and be good to yourself, please.
  21. I just got a new juicer for Christmas, and I am psyched to get started on some juicing!! I'd love to hear your fave recipes (especially green juices).
  22. One week until Christmas.....and no snow. I live in Wisconsin for a reason, people! I love winter, and Christmastime is the best time every for snow! So, there's that. Also, I did a number on myself. Here's what happened. I love boot camp. Love the challenge, the vibe, the social aspect, the fact that I didn't have to come up with the workout myself, la-la-love. Love it so much, in fact, that I started Bodypump classes too. These weren't as intense as boot camp, but I was really loving the help with upper body work. The problem is that I pushed it too hard too fast and hurt myself. A few weeks ago, I was feeling pretty intense pain on the left side of my chest. A whole bunch of scary stuff was running on a loop in my head for days on end. The pain persisted so much and robbed me of so much sleep, that I went for an exam. I found that I'd strained and bruised my chest wall on the left side. So painful. Now, I have to rest. This should make me jump for joy. Doctor's orders to sit and knit in my pj's with a cup of tea? Ahhhhh, no. I start YTT in a few weeks, and I want to be ready. But, here I sit. I plan to keep running and do some other work that won't strain my chest muscles. Bummed, because I was really feeling the new and improved upper body strength. Then I remind myself that I'm healthy, I'll heal, and I'm not required to meet any fitness goal on any specific timeline. For now, tea, knitting, and using the handy excuse to let the small people in my house do dishes. I will try to savor the rest imposed upon me and go from there. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
  23. Ohhhhh, gotcha!