Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
BlueEyedRanger

Attraction in Class and Teacher Crush

4 posts in this topic

Hi

Backgroud: I was formerly a failed rockstar with substance abuse issues.  I was living out of my car at 31 and things were really not going too well.  The god(esses) have been good to me and I made my way back to school where I had a humble monastic lifestyle and after only a couple years I earned my way into a nice working class career at a laboratory.  I am a lonely guy, I have always attracted flighty emotionally unstable women or been alone, and my then counselor, about 2 years ago, said, "why don't you go to yoga classes?  There's lots of women there and its better than going to the bar."

Well I have been doing yoga regularly now for 2 years, nowadays I go 3-4 times a week.  I am proud to say that I am sober, kind, physically fit, and productive, and I believe that regular yoga and meditation have played a huge role in that.  I do have a sense of humor about it, my coworkers from India say, "why are you (americans) so serious when you say Namaste?"  Because apparently in India Namaste means "Hello" and nothing more.  Haha. 

Anywho.  I have to admit I have such a crush on the Saturday teacher.  She exudes compassion and tenderness, femininity and creativity, and she says the most fascinating poetic things.  If I could only tell you how gorgeous she is, and I suspect she is single and possibly a mom.  I feel very embarrassed to have so many feelings for someone who I do not really know and who is just doing her job.  Crushes are for kids, but I just can't seem to shake it.

Its a very sensitive topic, being attracted to women in these classes.  For a long time I would go to class without my contact lenses in so I could not see too much.  But then I decided I need to face my fears and go with 20/20 vision so I could see with clarity my anxieties, passions, and neurotic thoughts and try my best to purge them through breathing and sweating.

I could never compare yoga with, say, running, or basketball.  There is no comparison.  Yoga is so much deeper and more thorough.  It is social in a way.  I have to admit I would not want to do it alone, or in an all men's class.  Truthfully the abundance of female energy the room is part of what springboards my strength and energy and willingness to improve myself. 

I would really like to ask this teacher out to coffee or something, but I feel it would be violating some unspoken rule.  You just don't meet women like that outside of the yoga club.  I don't know where they hide when they are not working out.  In general, there are maybe a handful of datable women there (30-40, not married), but I never really get to say anything to them.  I am just wondering if its appropriate to ask someone out in this context?  I suppose... some girl got my # the other day at the cubbies, but she was like 23.  She is a singer in a band.  That is not happening! I am too old for that.  But she approached me, see?  Its different, its non-threatening.  I was kind of surprised.  I am very anxious about doing anything that is not within the unspoken social rules. 

Any thoughts?

  

 

YogaByCandace and Robbie like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are clearly unspoken social contracts between teachers and students. I would guess that most teachers will have a self-imposed rule about not dating students. You may find this previous forum discussion interesting and relevant:

 
However, as a romantic I say go for it! You’re both grown-ups and can handle the outcome with maturity. Just be prepared to never ever go to that class again!

YogaByCandace likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What about just saying a very heartfelt thank you for the class and her instruction at the very end of class just to 1) express your very obvious gratitude for the practice, and 2) strike up a non-threatening conversation that'll possibly give you an idea of whether she's interested or not. I'm with Robbie - I'm not against the idea of asking her out, but it might be kind of rough if she says no.

Robbie likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you think it's tough dealing with having a crush on your instructor...try taking one of @YogaByCandace's :13:  workshops . I thought about proposing to her right there...but then she made us do Hollow Rocks and I envisioned a lifetime of crunches...LOL!

Seriously get to know her better, before setting up a potentially uncomfortable situation. Talk to her after class, Facebook friend her, etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0