laurismasfuerte

getting back into yoga and meditation

8 posts in this topic

I used to have a set yoga routine along with meditating a while back, however lately I just cant seem to focus at all.  I am stressed out, finding out I was pregnant, then finding out my husband was.. well not the person I thought he was, filing for divorce and then starting night school and working full time... not to mention I will be out of a job soon and having a baby right after.  You can say I'm stressed.  I have been taking positive steps!!, I have an amazing therapist and that is helping with all this madness.  However, I still cant focus and get back on my mat.  I'm a bit intimidated and scared as crazy as it sounds scared to get back on the mat.  I guess I think I might just break down and cry as crazy as it sounds.  I just its difficult for me to start again, my mats been collecting dust for a while now and I just I want to get back into it but it seems so hard.  I don't know if any of you have any advice at all? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope you don't mind an internet stranger giving you internet hugs, but it sure seems like you could use some. *hugs*

You have a lot going on, so my main advice would be to try to avoid adding a new source of stress to your life. By this I mean that you should try to lower your expectations when it comes to yoga and meditation, not because I don't believe they can help you feel better and deal with all that stress (they absolutely can!), but because you want yoga to help you and not become a burden. The less you focus on what you want from yoga the more you can focus in the moment and what your practice is like.  This way you'll able to enjoy and appreciate your practice for what it is and the sense of peace it can bring. Let it be what it is on any given day without pushing yourself or mentally beating yourself up because your practice used to be different some time ago. Just do your best to be present in the moment, let your movements and your breath be your focus. Allow yourself a moment of not thinking and not worrying about your very real concerns and your stress levels will come down in time.

When I'm stressed out I find guided meditations easier to follow, as they take some of the burden of what to do, what not to think about off my brain. A website like Rainy Mood can provide some non-intrusive background noise to help you focus in the moment.

Also, what I like to do when my mind is racing and can't focus is to tell myself "that was a thought; let it go" as many times as necessary. Eventually my mind slows down.

Good luck with everything.

Edited by Hildegard
what is grammar? what is English?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That does sound crazy stressful, but the good news is that you've been surviving it already - getting the support from your therapist, others, and even coming here!

I completely agree with Hildegard about avoiding a new source of stress in your life. I tried to force myself to maintain a routine, but I would stress out more to try to meet the "designated" schedule, and I would further beat myself up more for not meeting the schedule - a horrible cycle that I still struggle sometimes to just... let it go.

Do you normally have a home practice or go to a class? If you went to classes before, are those teachers still around that you can reconnect with?  Don't worry if you break down on the mat - you're finally allowing some time and feeling for yourself, and just be in the moment. You might feel more comfortable doing that at home than in class, but, a pre-natal class night be helpful to go to so you know what modifications to make at home.

If it's too much time commitment, you can start out small, and just do some 10 min or 15 min warmups on Candace's channel.  And, if you want to reawaken what you liked about yoga (for me, it's interesting flows), then, you can follow some of Candace's sequences and slowly build to do longer practices.  And, if you want more structure after you feel better, try the 30 day mindful challenge - it's the first one I participated in just because it was less goal oriented but more focused on reflecting and being present.  There are more built in meditations, too, in the schedule than other challenges.  And, don't worry about strictly following the schedule - I just matched the calendar date with the day number, took self-proclaimed rest days when things got away from me, and just moved on.

If you still don't feel very inspired to do yoga, what about reading about other people's practices and thinking back about your old practice and how it may have motivated you then?  There's one thread that started here, and other bloggers who talk about tough life changes (some similar to yours in fact, she's a fellow forum member here, Kristi Smith) - again, everyone's path is different, but, it might offer some motivation.

Lastly, to build on Hildegard's guided meditation recommendation - this may seem cheesy, but I find Deepak's voice soothing. I think this one is a good guided meditation (he lectures for the first 5 min, then it's silence for 10) to think more about yourself, appreciate and love yourself, and how you can affect others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, man, I wish I could give you a hug (if that wouldn't totally weird you out!). You're going through a lot. And the yoga practice - at least to me - has always acted as a mirror and let me know exactly what has been going on in my life. Stepping on the mat when I'm in a deep depression or feeling extremely stressed will always reflect in my practice. "Simple" poses will feel exceedingly challenging. If my mind is scattered, I won't be able to balance in the most basic balancing pose. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just lay in savasana. Let the tears come if they come. Don't judge, just let whatever happens unfold. Go easy on yourself, and reach out often. We're here for you. <3 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thank you so much ladies for all of these awesome tips!  I need to stop being so hard on myself, I think that's my biggest problem. I tend to tell myself "this weekend I will go back to my yoga mat!" then the weekend comes and I'm either burnt out from the military or school and sometimes I still do cry for what happened (my divorce and pregnancy all came along the same week of may) then I feel weak and its an endless cycle.  I need to remind myself that I am human, and all of these emotions are completely normal but most importantly OKAY!. Hildegard, Trust me I need as many hugs as I can now haha so thank you, and I will take your advice on "not expecting"  I seriously just need to incorporate that in all of my life, not just yoga.  I will also try and give the website you stated a look tonight after school, maybe it can help with my relaxing and sleeping. yogafire I normally did go to a class, however now with a baby on the way, becoming a single mom overnight and getting out of the military this December I cant afford to go anymore (although its just 10 per class, I'm trying to be as watchful with my spending so when my contract does end this year I have some good savings for a few months before school again)  I have really enjoyed the YouTube videos Candace does provide, so I will incorporate that into my routine.  I think I'm also going to go through first with the mindful challenge you mentioned.  I need it, and I need to ease myself into, instead of wanting to jump in when I'm still healing. Hahaha no Candace a hug wont weird me out, trust me I need hugs or good vibes, possibly both haha.You're completely right and the one day I did try savasana and I did break down, as I said in the beginning I need to be okay with breaking down for that's how we heal!  Thank you so much for these tips ladies, I greatly appreciate it.  I will try my best to accomplish this, its hard, but not impossible.  Instead if running form these feelings and emotions I need to understand and embrace them.  

Edited by laurismasfuerte

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow you are going through a lot in your life right now. It may sound stupid especially now but I believe that life is full of lessons for our development and things happen for a reason...maybe someday you will see some reasons behind all these crazy things happening right now...I am sending you a lot of strength. I agree with Hildegard that it is important not to add any other stress and for me it really helps to do everything just because of the feeling during the activity (running, yoga) and focus just on the flow not on the results. Also Osho dynamic meditation could help or the five rhythms dance...just to let go and have some time for yourself. Wish everything gets better soon. You will be a mommy that's the most precious gift ;) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is certainly a lot to take on at once! Sending you lots of hugs & positive vibes! It's ok to break down and being pregnant even under ideal circumstances is a very emotional and a little scary time. I agree with all the others, don't stress about adding a set routine. Just do what you can when you feel able and celebrate that. Same goes for when the baby arrives-in all aspects of life! I wish I could go back and tell my first time mom self that. Do what you can each day and let go of the rest! 

I struggle to find time to meditate, especially when I'm stressed-which is when I need it most! So, although not ideal, I started to take just a few  minutes to sit in bed after the alarm goes off to set an intention for the day and do just the most basic meditation before I'm up and running. Best wishes to you, I hope you will keep us updated!

yogafire and KristiSmithYoga like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lauri! I'm sorry you are struggling, and the changes you mentioned are massive! Wow.

I'm glad you found this forum. I'm the person yogafire mentioned earlier, and I've been there. We all have, in our own way, of course. But I was a signal mom...a (newly) single pregnant woman, so I can relate intimately to that. Things were so overwhelming in so many ways.

Oh, I absolutely agree 100% with what everyone else wrote.

Just to put it a Law of Attraction sort of thing out there...by the beginning of my 2nd trimester in 2002 I was earning just over minimum wage at an organic grocery store when I wandered into my first yoga class, which happened to be a prenatal class. The teacher was an incredible woman who studied under the late BKS Iyengar, and she ended up not charging me for my classes (she was also my doula - for free - at Sage's birth)! I don't know where you are at or what the local resources are, but you never know who may want to take you under her wing. It happened to me without me seeking it out. I'm not sure what advice I'm giving to you here in this regard, aside from just allowing your spirit to be open to opportunities that may arise. Because they do.

Candace's videos are amazing and are of great quality. Also, at this point in time, you might benefit greatly from a restorative practice, especially if you are fatigued. In the Chicago area, several studios that offer teacher training programs also offer free community yoga classes to give their newly minted teachers an opportunity to practice teaching. Perhaps your area has those types of classes as well. But, don't pressure yourself to do yoga! If you want to try to sneak a little in when you aren't in the mood to do it, try telling yourself that all you are going to do is a short series of sun salutations...like three rounds of surya namaskar As. That will take you maybe two minutes. Do it in your pajamas and then allow yourself to go back to bed. If you find yourself wanting more after those three rounds, you can always do some more or pop in a YBC video. Just sayin'.

Finally, yoga is so much more than the physical practice and maybe exploring Patanjali's sutras or other yogic teachings would help your spirit during these times. Seriously, yoga changed my life radically (yogafire already linked to part of my story in my yoga blog), and that was three years before I ever did a down dog. I'd be really game to chat/email or whatever :) my contact info (including cell phone) is on my yoga website in my profile and/or signature. Sending big hugs your way...I know this is a challenging time, but I can also promise you that there is a beautiful path just waiting to be discovered...

Namaste.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now