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YogaMom

Too much?

9 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

I think this Forum is really encouraging, and I hope it is okay to bring this Topic up.

I made a 200hr teacher Training, and started one yoga class for adults in my Company (where I work 25 hours a week), plus one Kids class. I do a Family Yoga class once a month.

I started Setting up the Website and a blog, which is quite some effort (I had not expected it to be this much of work), plus tried to make Events to gain new customers (mainly for the Kids and Family class, because the Company class works quite good already). I designed an Adventkalender (this is something we love a lot here in Austria, it is a calender that starts on December 1st with small treats or candy each day in it) which I will send to my Newsletter subscribers - including a giveaway for one of the subscribers. This was a lot of effort again.

Now, I have the Chance to start in March a new Kids class in a Family Center. It would be on the same day as the other kid class, just later, so it would be no Problem.

Plus: I will start the 500hr teacher Training in Feb (which will start with 6 Weekends split over 6 months for the first 100hrs this year)

 

My Problem now is... a lot of people tell me, that this is too much for me. I have two Kids, and I love spending time with them. So I do most of the administrative stuff in the evening, when they sleep. I teach two days a week and I am home to make supper for the Kids. My husband (who is not the most supportive one and Kind of dislikes my yoga Ambition) always tries to give me a bad Feeling about teaching yoga after work, because of the Kids. additionally, he means, I put too much work on me with that yoga thing (and leave too much for him to take care of - which is not true at all, because most of the housework is my Task). My friends are worried that I do not take the breaks I would Need.

I do not feel it is too much. I am looking Forward to the teacher Training, and to the new class, because I think I managed them to fit into my daily schedule quite well. But still, there is this tiny uncertainty because of what the others say... hm...

 

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Why should you care what other people think of how you should best spend your time?

As long as you can provide your family the time and care that they need, it's your life, live it as you wish, follow your own rules.

if you want to be diplomatic, simply say "thanks for your input" and give them a broad, genuine smile.

 

 

Behind every great success were legions of people telling the entrepreneur... "you can't do that"

YogaByCandace likes this

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Thanks Larry....

I am just Kind of worried they might be right about the workload.

And it is always hard for me when my husband starts to complain about me spending time for Yoga...

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I agree with Larry. 

I think it might be helpful to do some self-inquiry. How do you feel about how you spend your time?

I've discovered that I'm a better wife, daughter, friend, etc when I am feeling fulfilled in my own personal goals. If I am living my life for others, I am unhappy at my core. Starting a business is a ton of work (as you've begun to see), and it doesn't just stop - it's always a hustle - but if this is something you go to sleep thinking about and wake up jumping out of bed for, then you have to either do it and let your heart sing or stop doing it and go back to what you were doing before. 

It sounds like it might be beneficial to first figure out how you feel, and then have a conversation with your husband about how you can spend time on your yoga so you can be happy and keep the family running smoothly. This might mean more support from him or other family/friends to help with the kids while you continue your yoga education etc. 

 

yogafire and Lorelei like this

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I personally gained so much trough my yoga practice and the teacher Training. I found so many ways to cope with Problems rooting back to childhood and with anxiety and a lot more things.

I am more relaxed and joyful after the classes, I am more confident and optimistic. I discovered so many positive changes since I deepened my practice. And friends and Family saw that too. And I appreciate they are worried about me. But in the end, it is my life and their doubts give me insecurity.

When it Comes to my husband, this is a very Special Problem. He was always supportive no matter what I did, but when we got Kids, I think he saw me as mother and housekeeper and that was it. I have a well paid Job and earn more than him (even working part time) so staying home was from a financial Point of view never an Option (besides I am not the Kind of Person who has a fulfilled life doing the housework and staying home... I love my Kids and I enjoy time with them, but I always wanted to have a Profession and work with People. Might Sound stupid to some of you, but this is who I am)

So, he Kind of accepts that I have to work from a financial Point of view. He does not like it though, and I feel that. And that I started something besides this is too much for him. He says he has to accept it, but it always Pops up as a Problem between us. He often tells the Kids "mommy is gone because she has to do yoga, which is sooooo much more important to her than anything else". And I always feel bad than. I really try to Balance everything out. I really try to do all the work when the Kids are sleeping. I have once every month a Weekend where I do Yoga, and if that is too much to ask... well...

Thanks for your answers. I was really struggling a lot with this toppic. But I think, as you sadi Candace, this is something very important for me that makes my heart sing. So, I do not want to give it up and I do not feel that I do not have the strenght it takes to Keep it up. The beginning is always tough, but I have confidence it will get better over time. Preparation will become less etc. And it is fun and so, so I enjoy doing it ;) 

robert and YogaByCandace like this

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Does your husband not enjoy being the primary caretaker? Can you get outside help - grandparents or babysitter - to help your husband so he doesn't feel unsupported? That may be why he isn't entirely supportive of you, your yoga, and career because it means more work for him.   I just realized Candace already suggested this, but, seriously, this is the primary way I see it work for the career focused working mothers I work with. 

Otherwise, try to make him understand how yoga makes you feel, just like you told us.  I think the main issue here is not taking on too much but rather you are not feeling completely supported by your husband because he is making you feel guilty (remark to the kids about yoga being so much more important).  I don't have kids, but my sister is a working mother, and she said "you always feel like you're doing a half-*** job on either your kids or your job" because you keep trying to balance out the two.  I don't think you should have to choose between the two, but, there needs to be changes (husband's attitude, more quality time with kids, getting outside help for caretakers, etc.) so you're content with both sides.

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This is sort of heartbreaking to read. I'm so sorry to hear you are not being supported - that's an awful feeling.

I had a similar situation with my husband when I started teaching, although we don't have kids - he just couldn't understand why I was putting all my energy in this new venture. Finally I had to have a sit-down "come to jesus" talk with him. I basically explained how I was feeling, and he was shocked to hear that I felt unsupported. So I continued to explain all the behaviors that made me feel that way "eye rolling, deep sighs..) and he understood. I really had to lay it out for him and to help him to understand why this is so important to me. It helped to relate it to something that he loves to do - for him it's golf. I explained that I don't understand how he enjoys it, or why he needs to spend so much time playing golf. Ultimately we both came to the understanding that it's all about finding what makes us happy. And we're allowed to have different interests.

I hope that your husband comes around. Keep at it, and just keep checking in with yourself. I found that when I started teaching the adrenaline kept me going for a while, but eventually I burned out and had to pull back/drop some classes. Just know that if you decide to reign it in, there is no fault in that. There's also no fault in enjoying the hustle, and keeping busy with something that makes your heart sing.

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Do what you love and love what you do.  Right?  I'm better for everyone when I am busy with worthwhile ventures.  Maybe if you listen to your body and watch your reactions to others from a by-stander's perspective, you will have an ongoing self-check to make sure you are ok with your level of busyness.  Sounds like a lot of fun, all your busy stuff!

robert likes this

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